I feel bad for being bad, but always in the end when I think about the things I did and go back to the words that came out of my mouth. It’s always in the end that I regret. And it doesn’t even dawn on me that the invisible clock is ticking and there will come a time when I’ll regret it forever and never be able to mend things ever.

Can’t let the day pass without posting anything birthday-related. No matter what, life deserves to be celebrated.

Happy 19th birthday to me! :)

Now, that’s a post.

Don’t invest in me. I am risky. I may not return what you expect from me. Or I may.

To the Universe


To the universe,

Wake me up when Neymar heals
 and Brazil’s national team wins
Wake me up when I can unlearn the lyrics
 to The Bends or What Did You Expect from The Vaccines?
Wake me up when it’s 6 in the evening
 and I’ve already spent much of the day longing
Wake me up when every time is
 as good as the first time
Wake me up when the power is out for
 a lightless sprawl is a sight to behold
Wake me up when there is enough coffee in the world
 to fill the boundless void in my soul
Wake me up when I can walk home at night
 without fearing for my safety or doubting my might
Wake me up when this world is able
 to shelter and nurture life.

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July 6, 2014.

Tonight, I want to celebrate the misery. I want people to remember that I am also a person. I ache and I hurt. And it’s true.

But tomorrow, let me be the wind once again.

Which feels worse, getting something bad you don’t deserve, or something good you don’t deserve as well?

Yesterday, I arranged my “stuff” from elementary to present. Yes, I keep a bunch of letters, scripts, notes, pictures and everything ‘insignificant’ because it’s hard to let go. Ha ha. The memories were swarming me in torrents.

Those memories. They are missed.

If you don’t want to get manipulated by others, you must not let them know what you’re thinking…and you can’t let yourself get caught up in what they’re saying and forget to think for yourself. I suggest you not forget that.

Kyouko Kirigiri (Dangganronpa)